Raising a Mother
Being brought up largely based on Asian values, I try to instil those values particularly filial piety into my son – the core concept of which is obedience and respect for parents. However, I’m sure many parents would agree that kids these days are not so easy to tame compared to our time.
When I was a kid, I hardly question my parents’ decision. Whatever they say, I obey. The rebellious streak was only seen in the late teens. I guessed I developed late. These days, it is common to see kids as young as 9 years old giving their parents a hard time and demanding for what they want.
Lately, my son, turning 12 soon, is starting to question my authority. He wants his freedom to do as he pleases. He doesn’t want me poking into his business. Oh boy, did we have a showdown when I tried to impose more boundaries and rules on him. It didn’t end well and he’s still holding grudges about it. In the end, we managed to work out a truce and I hope things will pan out well.
Through the years, I get so caught up in the doing the right thing for my son because I want the best for him. I’m terrified of making a mistake because I don’t get to raise him a second time. Sometimes, I forget that he’s growing up and hang on to the moment of him being a toddler and falling down, crying for the first time, for a little too long, that I began to suffocate him without knowing it.
I realised that by raising my son, I’m also learning myself. In fact, I’m learning more from him than I have in years about patience, forgiveness, loving without conditions and being grateful. But, the hardest lesson by far is about letting go. I know as long as I don’t let go, the scar in my heart will deepen with every step my boy takes on his own out into the world, but that is the pain I’m willing to bear. It seems that I will never learn this lesson, ever, like many mothers before me.
So, for all mothers out there who has trouble letting go, together we shoulder on. I guess until the day I die, I shall always hold my son’s hand in my heart.
Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers!