After being married for 15 years now, I realised that love is not about romance but trust, respect and being accommodative and supportive.

During my younger days, I used to fantasize about meeting a romantic lover than would sweep me off my feet and make me feel like a princess. There were the usual elements of flowers, candlelight dinner by the beach, soft music, dancing, beautiful dresses, fine dining and even a poetry of two – all these the result of reading my mom’s Mills and Boons and watching too many romantic comedies.

Well, my date came and there were flowers and nice dinners but it was never as perfect as it was in my imagination but at least I felt special. However, the novelty of all new experiences, even romance, wears out eventually.

It is no doubt a pleasant surprise to receive flowers and chocolates every now and then but these gifts can’t give you the care you need when you are unwell. The tiny portions of fine dining cuisines won’t give you the energy you need to keep going when everything is just not turning out the way you want it to be.

At the end of the day, it is your partner who respects and supports you that makes a relationship work. It is these moments that define a relationship and not the romantic ones.

Nowadays, I never expect my husband to get romantic with me. If he does try, I will take it as a bonus. After all, still loving the same man after more than a decade is romantic enough for me. :)

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  • Such a sweet post.Unfortunately most women don’t understand this concept of unspoken gestures of love that a long term relation brings with it.Wish more women could think like you.

    • Angie says:

      it took me some time to accept the fact that romance is not given and shouldn’t be the focus of a relationship but I guess if it’s true love, your woman should be able to look past this but that doesn’t mean you can’t surprise her occasionally 😉

  • Linda says:

    Try to toss in a bit of romance….at 25 years you’ll want it again…reminds you how wonderful love can be. It can be an occasional moment, a gift or a vacation…but add the romance….

  • Stephanie says:

    Marriage is hard work. Sounds like you are doing well:) Best wishes for many, many more years to come.


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