A Not-so-perfect Mother

Happy Mother's Day

It’s Mother’s Day today and all around love, hugs and kisses are in order for all mothers and grandmothers in the world. Yes, most mothers are a real blessing in many people’s lives but not every mother is as perfect as we are portrayed to be on this special day.

I have no bone to pick on this special occasion which I think is a fabulous way to recognise the wonderful women who have made us who we are today, including my own mother, a strong and fantastic lady, who has taught me much wisdom and is still teaching me lots of things in life.

Instead of giving tribute to those super mums out there who can do it all, I want to celebrate the mums who can’t do it all. After my delivery, I had problems with my nerves and hence was unable to even take care of myself for almost 6 months and that goes without saying, I wasn’t there very much for my infant son either.

As I focused my energy on getting better, I could only watch as my mother and mother-in-law dot on my son and do all the duties that I should have done such as bathe him, rock him to sleep and take him for a walk in the park but couldn’t due to my health condition. I know I cannot turn back time but I still wish I could.

Not being able to do the physical things had robbed me of a certain experience which I craved but then again time cannot be reversed. Hence, I think I understand how some mothers who are unable to perform their duties due to specific reasons feel. It could be a physical thing or a mental thing, whatever reason it is, please do not fault them for what they can’t do, for no mother wants to desert their child in any manner.

For things which I cannot accomplish with my child physically, I try to make it up in other ways. I enrich him through what I am capable of handling – I read him books, played with him on the bed or just watched him sleep. During those days, I was sad because I couldn’t do more.

In this case, time was a healer. As my son and I grew stronger with time, we were able to do more things together and now we share a great relationship as a mother and son should have. Although I still look back at the time when I wished I could do more but then that time will never come back, so why waste time dwelling on the past.

So, here’s to mothers who, for some reason, can’t do it all for your child – take it one day at a day, build yourself up and look forward to the day where you can share it fully with your child. You don’t have to be perfect, just be the best that you can offer to your child.

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